I have a good reason for staying up so late.
I was packing my room! I threw lotsa not-so-important things away. And while i was packing my room, i made a few discoveries.
#1. I kept letters from the angel-mortal game from JC days.
Yes surprisingly i kept all of them. It’s so weird reading them again. These people could just be strangers to me. We don’t even talk / exchange email / sms anymore. Then again i haven’t been keeping in touch with a lot of people these days. People have changed so much over the years. Mortal Han is now a chongster and very different from her days in JC OAC. Angel Winnie is more outgoing, great different from her introvert nature when i met her during orientation. Apparently she just came back from exchange in the states. How cool. And this mortal Liling from LEP, don’t know how is she now. Another “let-down” like me who never continue our intense interest in chinese language that motivated us to go for LEP in the first place.
#2. I kept this letter from Lian for my 21st birthday.
Yes Lian is such an ass that she gave me letter on plain white paper instead of proper birthday card. But then being a lousy friend i would just save the letter too. =P
Lian - i keep cards. Not letters.
But thanks for being such a great pal though i have never been one.
It’s sad how i have drifted apart from all the dance people. Lian is my closest friend on the team and we only talk when we see each other for work. Needless to say i hardly talk to the rest. And now Alice and Wayne have left the team, probably for good. One less people that i can talk to. Lucky Gerry is still around. It’s hard to develop that friendship with the rest who are attached within the team.
#3. Air rifle should be a thing of the past.
Yes it should be. I shouldn’t had took part in the last competition. Disgrace.
No point consoling me. I was way better than this. I can keep on shooting the whole afternoon and never miss the black target. But now…. zero one two three are almost my best friends. I see them nearly half the time.
I used to enjoy shooting. I dread it now. Could it be the disappointment in NS? That i could never pick up the real gun and get my marksmanship which forced me to push the very idea of shooting again to the backroom of my head.
#4. I had never been a good friend to anyone.
I am rather selfish. When things caught up with me, friends are the first to take a backseat, before resting and then other things. I no longer write those thoughtful postcards to friends. I no longer drop messages to check on people. I no longer call people out because i simply don’t know what to say when i see them.
It’s not as if i such at communication. I have no problem striking up a conversation with a stranger. I reckon it’s just that i can’t stand that discomfort facing someone whom i knew every well and now i can’t gather recent knowledge about this person from my head.
What an eventful night, although i have been in my room most of the time. Amazing isn’t it.
Shall spend some thoughts on my friends.
